You SHOULD Be Sorry.

So why does Mr. Brown decide to release this apology motherfu*king bazillion years after the fact? Did he start to realize that his fan base was faltering? Did his bank account start to suffer? Could he not support his lavish douchebag lifestyle of grey poupon, Pâté snacks, and tight neon sweaters? Perhaps he misses the limelight? Afraid of the onslaught of Other light skinned african american musicians replacing him? Maybe in his feeble woman beating mind he realizes that he is NOT famous enough to do what he did and get away with it? Whatever the case is, when it's all said and done, there are only two facts that come clear in this apology video. Number one, is that he is reading a teleprompter which makes his apology seem insincere. We (non teenage douchegirls) aren't stupid Chris. We can see your beady little woman beating eyes reading the words. The other is that his shirt looks gay as fu*k. It looks like he robbed Dr. Seuss of his clothing. Perhaps even slapped him around before taking it? What did you do? Sock the sh*t out of a bellboy and steal his shirt? Anyways, my personal favorite part of the video is at the 0:28 second mark where Chris says: "I wish I had the chance to live those few moments again"... I bet you do!! You'd probably throw in a few more jump kicks and some roundhouse kicks to the face wouldn't you?! Probably a karate chop at the back of the neck?? A few eye gouges you missed out on?? ... been reliving it at night and wishing you could do it all over again don't you? I'm just fu*kin with you Chris, I couldn't care less about your life. I just wanted to post this up as an example of what shirt not to wear as a straight male.

Cliffnotes: Wear a shirt like this, and you support beating women. AND you're gay. Are YOU a woman beater???? Be afraid.

- Triggernuts