Got Fight?

Forrest Griffin is an advocate of pointing out who and who are not the douchebags of this world. For that, and for being able to smash skulls, we salute you.

Here is an excerpt from Forrests book, "Got Fight?" which is now available for purchase.

Got Fight?

The Definitive Definition That Defines a Douche Bag

"One day, while I was supposed to be writing down some intelligent shit to put into this book, I took a cruise to the store and noticed all these stupid- ass numbers on the back of high- end cars—e46 m3, e83 x3, e320. None of the numbers made any sense, but it got me thinking about the people who can recite each car model and how much each costs. It took but a few seconds for me to classify them as major douche bags. Then I started thinking about other types of people who could fall into the douche- bag category. The list grew too long to put into this book, so I’ve only included the top six (if you’re wondering, Why six? Why not ten or fifty? you’re a round- number- loving douche bag). If you happen to do any of the things that are on this list, I hate to say it, but you’re grade-A, brother.

1) If you always buy a specific brand of hair- care product, such as a cream or gel, and refuse to use anything else, you’re a smelly douche bag.

2) If you have a person who waxes you, and you’re not a professional swimmer, you’re an overflowing douche bag.

3) If you’ve driven a Hummer outside of the military, you’re a sergeant douche bag. If you’re a chick who drives a Hummer, you’re a douche baguette.

4) If you do things to people while driving that you wouldn’t do while standing in a line, you’re a f*cking douche bag. Airport lines don’t count because pretty much everyone does foul shit at the airport. But if you do things driving that you wouldn’t regularly do in a line, such as cut someone off or give him the bird, I hate you. When I’m rolling around with my big, goofy, gangly ass, hip- hopping because one leg is shorter than the other, which makes me look like a seventies pimp with a severe case of polio, people don’t tend to f*ck with me. But in a car, man, everyone acts so tough. Could it be because I drive a beat- up Scion?

5) If you regularly carry condoms on you, you’re a douche bag. Unless you’re Chuck Liddell, you don’t need to walk around with condoms. I mean, come on, really? You carry condoms?

6) If you’ve ever tried to pick up a chick in church, you’re not a douche bag, but you’re going to hell. It’s admirable, but you’re taking a trip south when your ticket is up." - Forrest Griffin

- Triggernuts